We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
