ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
