dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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