you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
