her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
