There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
