When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
