i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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