For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
