After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
bring money and cleavage
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
