Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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