Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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