the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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