Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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