I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
