Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
