It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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