Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
