After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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