pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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