So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
