how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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