I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
