I think I died a long time ago.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
not ubering you a puppy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
