I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Two words: blizzard sex
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
