How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
