I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
4 words: hood of his car
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
