Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
