So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
