am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
