let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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