I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
