I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
