Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
