we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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