I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
