My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
