i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
