oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
