so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize