i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
bring money and cleavage
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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