I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
