i already hear my dad disowning me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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