sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize