C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
