How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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