Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize