Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
