Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
