I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
