Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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