we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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