Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
