addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
