fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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