Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
