Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize