he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
