im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
