I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
