I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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