I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
