i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
