This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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