I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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