she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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