It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
