Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize