i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
